Judge finds NSA program unconstitutional

A federal judge on Thursday struck down President Bush’s warrantless surveillance program, saying it violated the rights to free speech and privacy, as well as the separation of powers enshrined in the Constitution.

Here’s my problem with this ruling. I think — and I’m sure nobody will argue with this — that it’s worth giving up some personal freedom to protect this country from Islamofascist psychos with explosive Gatorade.

I don’t care if the government has a massive database that logs everytime I say “explosives” or “Logan Airport” or “vagina.” If that’s what they need in order to protect the country, so be it.

Where has all the trust gone in this country? This is the White House we’re talking about. It’s not some oligarchy of semi-fascist millionaires who abuse the public trust to further their own political and financial gains. It’s Uncle Dick and Cousin Georgie, just listenin’ in on your conversation at the church barbeque.

What do you care? Yer not sayin’ anythin’ illegal, are ya? ‘Course yer not! Yer just talkin’ ’bout your wife’s inability to orgasm and how yer daughter’s got the crabs again. So who cares if the neighbors have a listen?

I’ll tell you who cares: brown people. They’re just mad because they can’t have a conversation about fertilizer on a pre-paid cell phone with their uncle in Pakistan without the FBI rapelling through their skylights.

Well, too bad, Haji. You lost your right to seek international farming advice right about the time you forsake Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior and chose to worship a camel, or whatever you terrorists use for a god.

If you were truly patriotic Americans, you would only talk to Americans. White Americans. In America.

That’s what I do. When I want to talk to a relative, do I call Saudi Arabia? No. I call Poughkeepsie. Is that so hard?

And don’t give me that, “I don’t have any relatives in Poughkeepsie” bullshit. If you loved this country, you’d go to Poughkeepsie and find some. It’s nice this time of year. Take a drive. Make some friends. Drink some apple cider.

Just don’t take pictures of any bridges.